Crafting Power Sentences

This post is about a chart I created with my friends over a three day period. It was really review for us, so the lessons were sort of quick hits.  We did a section of the chart, they practiced in their writer's notebook with a quick share.  My goal was just to review some areas in writing and grammar that I've seen they need a little reminding about.  This is what the chart looked like at the end of day three:

 As you can see, it's a busy chart.  That's why I really suggest doing it as a quick lesson over a few days.  I will explain how I did it and give you some changes you might make so that it's a better fit for your friends.

Day 1
Learning Goal:  Using more descriptive verbs that relate mood

This was the chart at the start of the lesson.   We started with a simple sentence: The boy went up the stairs.  I then focused my friends on the first column, the different moods I might want to create as a writer.  We discussed how our simple sentence just doesn't do it.  As a class, we brainstormed some different verb choices that better suited the moods.  I charted these, and then we read the sentence again, substituting the new verb choices each time. 

To practice, my friends then worked with a partner for a minute or two to brainstorm their own verb choice for the same sentence and write it in their writer's notebook.  We did a quick share of some and then off they went for independent writing. 

Modifications:  This could be the extent of your entire chart.  You don't have to go on and do the other sections.  For younger friends, working on verb choice alone may be enough.  You could also focus this lesson on synonyms for verb choice.  How many verbs can you think of that would show someone going up the stairs in a happy mood?  Bounced up? Jumped up? Pranced up? Skipped up? Danced up?

Day 2
Learning Goal:  Using adjectives or more descriptive phrases to relate mood and stronger visual images

For Day 2, we briefly reviewed the previous day's lesson and then discussed how we could add adjectives or descriptive phrases to help relate mood and create a more powerful mental picture for the reader.  We brainstormed together to fill in the last column.  Notice that for our happy and carefree mood, we didn't really change anything.  It was important for them to see that sometimes you just may not be able to think of a way to change the sentence. I come back to this at the end of day three, so I'll explain then.

For independent practice, my friends followed the same procedure at Day 1 using the same sentence in their writer's notebook.

Modifications:  To simplify it, you could focus on just adding one adjective in front of the word stairs in the original sentence.

Note:  I'm a little embarrassed!  It wasn't until I was looking at the chart after school on day 3 that I realized I wrote "creeped" when "crept" is grammatically correct.  I did go back and correct it with my friends, but it's not in these pictures.  Oh well, it's probably good for them to see that even teachers (this teacher anyway) need to proofread! 

Moving on. . .

Day 3
Learning Goal:  Correctly using and punctuating dependent clauses and creating vivid, descriptive mental images

Dependent Clauses have been a stickler for some of my friends, especially using commas correctly with them.  For this section, we worked on adding dependent clauses that related mood.  As you can see, we also threw in some adjectives for the boy.  I also highlighted the use of the comma. 

For independent practice, my friends went on to add a dependent clause to the sentence they had been working on in their writer's notebook.  We did a quick share, and then I had them write their "Power Sentence" on a sentence strip.  We hung them up in the room, and of course I forgot to take a picture of them!  But, I think you get the idea.

Modifications:  Dependent clause is definitely an upper elementary focus, so you might want to simplify this section.  In all, this would be a great chart for a simple adjective lesson.  Your friends could focus on simply adding adjectives for the boy.  You could also remove the "mood" section altogether if you wanted to just focus on adjectives, but I do think the mood really guides this lesson no matter how you modify it.

So, as you can see from the chart, we went from the simple sentence, "The boy went up the stairs" to:

• With a gleam in his eye, the boy race up to the top of the staircase.
• Head bowed, the boy sighed and dragged himself up the long staircase.
• With a nervous glance up, the timid boy crept up the dark and shadowed stairs.
• While humming a silly tune, the boy bounced up the stairs.
• With a scowl on his face, the boy stomped up each step of the staircase.

As I noted, these were quick lessons each day.  They were meant to be a quick, meaningful review, not take up our whole writing period. The new sentences are complex sentences that create mood and vivid mental pictures.  This is a skill my friends can always use practice with.

On day 2, we never changed "the stairs" section of the sentence.  One of the reasons I let this go was to point out to my friends that every part of a sentence doesn't need to be bedazzled.  We sometimes use that term in class.  I will tell my friends that their writing needs some bedazzling!  It's a silly way for them to see that they have fallen back into the habit of using only "simple" writing. 

It's also important to point out that every sentence shouldn't be so involved.  We have done lessons on varying sentences for structure and length, so my friends know not to "over bedazzle" their writing. Does that make sense to anyone but me?!!

So, that's my chart that I call the chart that just keeps on giving. :-D  I like charts that you can go back to over time.  I find that my friends tend to get those lessons better when we are able to go back to the same chart a couple of days in a row.  It just seems to imprint on their brains a bit more than the anchor charts you hit for one day only and then hang up.

Hopefully there is something in this chart you can use.  Have a happy weekend! See you tomorrow!